There’s a farmer here who hasn’t harvested his soybeans yet. Yep, it’s mid-February and some people are already itching to plant corn, and he’s still got soybeans standing on the stalk, which makes my heart brim with admiration. Though he’s merely four months behind (which isn’t all that impressive), to procrastinate such an essential task as harvesting your crop, you’ve really got to dedicate yourself to other pursuits.
Despite what some may think, procrastination isn’t easy. For instance, last Saturday morning, just to avoid cleaning out the barn gutters, I decided to continue putting new siding on our old farmhouse. Cleaning out the barn gutters is a tedious yearly task, but re-siding on an old farmhouse is a once-in-a-lifetime monumental task that is challenging and gratifying. After five minutes of gratification, however, I remembered I needed to feed the cows, a matter of more pressing concern than cladding my shelter or cleaning out gutters. Thus, I went off to attend to the cow’s health and well-being.
On the way to the barn, I noticed the tractor tire was flat again. I’ve been intending to buy a new set of front tires for five years, so I went to start the air compressor. While waiting for the pressure to build, I cranked the tractor and let it run a while since I hadn’t used it much in the winter. Good grief, the fuel gage was nearing E. Truth be told, “accidentally” running a diesel tractor out of fuel is an excellent way to occupy your time. Personally, I’ve never bled a fuel line in less than two hours and once or twice had it take all day. But mostly, I was starting to get hungry, so I decided I’d drive the tractor to the gas station down the road, the one with a grill and good cheeseburger basket, to refuel the tractor and my stomach in one efficient stop.
On the way, I stopped by a neighbor’s house to ogle his new hydraulic wood splitter. Ogling another’s man equipment is an excellent way to kill time. However, it can be untasteful if you linger, so after a mere hour chat with the neighbor, I promptly resumed my journey to the gas station.
The grill was bustling with talk and upon some beckoning, I joined a table of old men to hear reports of all that had been accomplished throughout the countryside. One farmer had trapped a large skunk overnight and was trying to figure out what to do with it. Another had spent the morning at a scrapyard searching for the perfect pieces of scrap metal pipes to weld together for a set of homemade monkey bars for his granddaughter. He wasn’t successful with his search and was generally displeased with the selection of scrap available these days.
By the time I finished listening to such reports and got home from refueling, it was nearly mid-afternoon and a great spell of fatigue descended upon me after I fed the cows, so much so I decided to go inside and watch a basketball game just to restore my energy. It happened to be a real nail biter that went into double overtime, and by the time it concluded, darkness had descended outside, which meant all other tasks could be put off till tomorrow. Tomorrow, being Sunday, a day of rest as declared by God, I could safely procrastinate till Monday. Monday happened to be President’s Day, a federally-mandated holiday which I felt obligated to observe as a patriotic American. By Tuesday, I couldn’t remember what task I had originally intended to start on Saturday, so I considered my procrastination complete, a job well done.
If you’d like to join the Misfit Farmer’s Procrastination Club, just let me know. So far, the only two members are me and my barn cat, Bunty. And, to be honest, we’ve just briefly talked about the idea and haven’t gotten around to meeting yet, so you’d be a charter member.
37 thoughts on “How to Procrastinate on a Farm”
I’ll think about joining your procrastination group soon…
ok no rush. We have no hard deadlines in the procrastination club. 😉
Might join the procrastination club. Will let you know tomorrow. Or the day after. Maybe next week.
Ok, barn cat refuses to take any leadership position, so we still have openings for president, vice president, secretary, and treasurer available, so tell any friends who may need to pad their resume.
I’ll have to think about it. 🙂
Ain’t it grand to have so many projects going that you can play them, one against the other in the procrastination game?
Yep, multitasking: doing everything and accomplishing nothing.
Procrastinators of the world unite! Tomorrow, of course.
I agree. Let’s take it worldwide. We can call it some distinguished like “Procrastinators Without Borders.”
“Ogling another mans equipment is an excellent way to kill time”… 😂😂😂 sounds like a day well spent even if it was all in procrastination!
Yep, all in a day’s hard work 😉
Wow, you’re as skilled at procrastination as I am! This just came through my inbox and seemed strangely appropriate: “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” ~Marthe Troly-Curtin
I’m not sure who Marthe Troly-Curtin is, but she must be a very wise person. I should probably commit that one to memory and use it when my wife questions the value of my wasted time. Thanks for passing it along!
Hilarious as ever!
Allus good to admire a perfessional. Might give a thought to that procrastinating thing. Mebee. Dunno.
If you don’t want to join the procrastination club, we’ll probably have room in my other organization, the indecision club.
I’m the queen of procrastination, but you are far better than I will ever be. I laughed more than once. Thank you for that.
I’m with the kitty, it’s time for a nap.
Thank you for joining the Feline Friday Blog Hop.
Have a purrfect Feline Friday and weekend. ♥
It’s always nap time somewhere 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
Hilarious blog post! I’ll be back….if I remember! hahah
Thanks, procrastinators always welcome!
And if you procrastinate enough, the Tyvek on the house will deteriorate and you’ll have to redo that before you continue siding…
Redoing things is the pinnacle of procrastination. Maybe one day I’ll get there. Lucky it hasn’t been stripped off by the wind yet.
In my experience, you have at least ten years before you get that procrastination bonus!
HA – can’t find good scrap because, from what i hear, scrap prices are finally at a decent enough price to make it worthwhile to clean up a place and be ‘green’ while prices last.
Finally, seems like they’ve been in the dumps for years.
I know this isn’t the point of your post but reading it brought up a legit question.
Can some crops be saved from harvesting to wait for better market value? I’m more of a livestock person so I don’t know much of the ins and outs of crop farming.
As for your club… I’ll think about it and get back to you 🤣
Not sure if some crops can be, but the sooner you can harvest soybeans, the better because oftentimes they’ll actually start sprouting in the pod. That said, a lot of times farmers do harvest beans and store them in grain bins until the price goes up. Likely, the farmer in question here filed an full insurance loss on the field, so he probably can’t harvest them because of that, which is why they’re still standing (so not so much because of procrastination). He’ll probably bush hog field once it dries out.
We take membership applications all year, so just let me know 👍
Thank you for the info!! I guess they couldn’t even use it as some sort of silage because that would still technically be harvesting it??
Yeah, seems like a waste, but they’re not supposed to.
Oh, that club is definitely for me. And I definitely don’t have time to meet – there’s too much I need to do. I think next week I am going to accomplish a lot.
I think the same. This week will be the week things get done.
This post reminds me of the guy whose roof was leaking. He couldn’t fix it when it was raining, of course, and he didn’t need to fix it when it wasn’t raining, right?
Exactly, that guy was a very wise man.
That’s not what his wife said!
Since Bunty is being a bit of a slacker , I’d like to apply for a leadership position … just as soon as I recharge my tablet. Do we get membership pins or something??
yep, I’ll try to get some type of pin or token put together in a few years and have out to you lickity-split within the next decade.