1. Fewer cars on the road mean less roadkill. Are buzzards going hungry?

2. How do bank tellers identify bank robbers with everybody wearing masks?

3. Simple solution to reopen the economy: everybody wears biohazard suits. Not enough biohazard suits? Take beekeeping suits and saran wrap the veil. (okay, not thirty minutes after I published this post, I saw a news story saying Trump economic adviser Stephen Moore recommended everybody wear space suits. That a top Trump economic adviser and I think alike is concerning–for me and this country. In fact, it’s so frightening I might grab a shovel and go bury gold in the backyard.)

4. With handshakes now obsolete, will Free-Masons develop a secret elbow-bump?

5. Bats get blamed for a lot of bad stuff, like coronavirus and vampirism. Did vampirism start in a Transylvanian lab?

6. How is the shortage of toilet paper affecting the port-a-potty industry?

7. Why is the first person with coronavirus called patient zero? Shouldn’t it be patient one?

8. If viruses just live to multiply and make life miserable, was my third-grade math teacher a virus?

9. A gallon of milk is now worth more than a barrel of crude oil. Who says farming doesn’t pay?

For more farm thoughts, see On Farm Safety Thoughts.