Well, in other news, my throat is still trying to kill me. It came close a few years ago when the Grim Reaper apparently tired of his boring ole scythe and got creative in his methods. Had my wife not been there to administer the Heimlich, my death certificate would read, “Death by butter bean.” All my life I’ve struggled to eat healthy, thinking that Bojangles would probably do me in. Then I nearly die from a vegetable—talk about irony.
So three endoscopies and many thousands of dollars later, my esophagus was sufficiently expanded to once again allow safe passage of food—this was two years ago. The problem is white blood cells still like to hang out in my esophagus and practice strangulation in their free time. The doctors tell me that this is not normal, that only 1 in 1000 people have the condition, that there’s no good way to treat it other than to restretch my throat every few years, ideally before my white blood cells commit murder.
I’m hoping I can make it three years between endoscopies because I don’t relish the idea of having my throat roto-rootered again. Done in an outpatient facility, it’s a routine procedure, except when it isn’t. Before my third endoscopy, while I was waiting in the prep room with an IV in my arm, I got to hear one of those “when it isn’t” cases. The prep room is right beside the operating room. Normally, you can’t hear the doctors and nurses talking as they work on whoever is scheduled before you, unless something bad is happening, in which case everyone is shouting and running and alarms are blaring. I just remember one nurse shouting “heart rate 180” and the doctor using the expression “stat” as in “get an ambulance here stat.” The nice old lady having the procedure done before me, who smiled at me while we were both in the waiting room, was having a heart attack on the table.
I often wonder what happened to that lady, a complete stranger, after she was transported to the hospital. As they wheeled me into the operating room, because, well, the show must go one, I’m not sure who was more shell-shocked, the doctor, nurses, or me. Sensing I was perhaps disconcerted by the preceding event, one nurse tried to calm my trembling skeletal structure with some reassuring words, which, to be honest, paled in reassurance to the valium she shot in my IV.
The next thing I know, I’m waking up at home with a sore throat and a bad case of hiccups. But that beats waking up in a hospital or not waking up at all. So, all in all, I have a lot to be thankful for, even if my throat is still trying to kill me.
17 thoughts on “Beware of the Butter Bean”
Not the type of adventure anyone enjoys, but very glad they can do something for you.
Yes, and the Dr. said that there is a new medication in testing that has shown very good results and will likely be approved next year. So that will be awesome I hope.
Fingers crossed for you.
Was this recently? That sucks, but yes, always look for the silver lining.
The last endoscopy was about two years ago at this point, which is when the lady had the heart attack. But, because of my stupid white blood cells, my esophagus is narrowing again, which is to be expected because it’s a chronic condition. So hopefully I can make it another few years before having the procedure done again.
Ouch. Honey and whisky, slightly warm?
Strange thing is it doesn’t really hurt, just can’t swallow. But any excuse for honey and whiskey is a good one.
The wee smile shared between strangers is touching – I hope she was okay. Puts life into perspective though. Take care
It sure does. One nurse said she had worked there for five years and nothing like that had ever happened. Thanks for reading!
I had that procedure a few years back. It wasn’t as bad as your problem, but I was having a bit of swallowing difficulties. Honey does help. It makes the pills go down better. In fact, a milkshake will do the same thing.
I do eat a spoonful of honey most days in oatmeal, but a milkshake per day sounds a lot better.
Whisk(e)y in hot milk with honey is rather good. Or it makes me feel good, anyway. No idea what it might do to my throat.
Milk, whiskey, and honey–sounds like a good trio for a throat to me.
There’s a challenge I’ve never heard of! I hope it doesn’t go on for years.
Thanks, I think they actually going to come out with a medication for it next year, so hopefully that will help.
Was this the most recent time you got roto-rootered? Dang, sounds unpleasant. Is there a name for it? I felt like something was stuck in my esophagus this weekend every time I swallowed. I’m glad you can laugh about it.
Yes, it was the most-recent. Several conditions can cause trouble swallowing. The condition I have is eosinophilic esophagus where eosinophils build up in my throat for reasons unknown. If you keep having trouble swallowing, I would definitely talk to your doctor. No need to risk a butter bean incident.